Self-Fulfillment – Filling the Void

Self-Fulfillment – Filling the Void Within.

Definition

The word ‘fulfilled‘ in the English language, when used in relation to ourselves or our lives tends to communicate that we are actually in the process of needing to be fuller, or full to the brim.

Maybe that’s the reason why we sometimes feel that ‘ungrateful’ emptiness, even though we have everything we need (and plenty that we don’t need) in life.

Even after fulfilling the American dream of consumption and materialism, or changing our appearance, or having thousands of friends on social networks; the emptiness we feel never seems to subside.

If you take a moment of reflection, you will come to realize that nothing material can ever satisfy our immaterial inner being — ever, because it doesn’t even make any sense.

We’ve all probably made a New Year’s resolution or created a plan to achieve our goals, committing ourselves to change something in our lives for the better.

But when it comes to keeping that promise to ourselves and actually implementing and maintaining changes in our daily lives, it seems more than impossible, – especially when faced with life’s many challenges. We begin to operate simply with improvisation, and let our plan fall into oblivion. We postpone it to the vague future and life goes back to ‘normal’.
We continue to feel the same displeased way as usual.
It almost feels like we’re in a mouse wheel, trapped in a vicious cycle that we can’t break free from no matter what we do.

Why bother in wanting to change ourselves in the first place?

Life indeed brings us challenges, but challenges are not meant to stop us from reaching our goals. Rather, they’re intended to give us the chance to evaluate ourselves and prove our weaknesses and strengths. Only with challenges can we really measure the quality of our performance.

To solve a problem effectively, we need to tackle it with a different mindset than the one which has caused it. In order to see positive results in our lives, we need to change the way we think and learn to discern new solutions.

The reason we really want to improve our lives is not because we are ungrateful and greedy, or bad at all. It is simply because you and I and all of us know and feel, deep inside our hearts, that there is a better version of ourselves out there just waiting to merge with our current-day self and round off our beings.

From the moment we fill our void, we are complete as a whole.

By default, we tend to perceive this other being that we want to merge with as someone else. We project our need for self-fulfillment onto others. Usually they are our loved ones, with whom we like to share our lives.
There is nothing wrong with needing to share our lives closely with another person. It is in our nature to strive for having someone we love in our lives. In my opinion, wrong is to project such big expectations of happiness and fulfillment on someone else. Just like us, they are also looking for wholeness in their lives.

Filling the Void Within

All the attributes we miss in ourselves, we tend to seek in our fellow human beings. To get what we want and satisfy our deepest desires and needs, we sometimes unconsciously go an extra mile and recklessly manipulate them to our own advantage, not giving enough thought to their wellbeing and needs.

The way I see things is that we should all develop more self-awareness to unveil the love and happiness that already resides within us. The relationships we have with others should serve to complement the good virtues in our lives, rather than fill the gaps in ourselves.

I believe that when you have no expectations towards someone else, you automatically gain more control over your attitude. There is also no one to blame, no disappointment and no abuse.

Final comforting words:

As humans we have needs that are easy to meet in this physical material world but we also have needs as spiritual beings, and we sometimes do not know how to satisfactorily meet them. We are spiritual beings experiencing a human life, not the opposite, so it is understandable that we all have a hard time in managing life successfully sometimes.

Change is a natural process of life, and without realizing it, we are already constantly changing. You are now a different person than you were 7 years ago, both mentally and emotionally as well as physically, as our bodies are constantly developing themselves.

We have to get out of the comfort zone and think outside the box to see considerably results in life. So, it’s worth facing the situation once and for all and consciously choosing to change for good. Change for good doesn’t mean forever. Change is a naturally occurring process that we cannot hinder anyway. What we can do is to decide to lead the course it is taking by reevaluating and refining the changes. This is what distinguishes destiny from the freedom of choice.

The modern life of materialism, despite all the comfort it provides us, it distracts us from focusing on the things that really matter. Small things and experiences are the things that move us the most. Hanging out with our loved ones, spending a day at the beach, holding a newborn baby in our arms…These things are simple things but they leave behind unforgettable good memories. Even decades later, these good memories have the magical ability to trigger all those good feelings in us. When we remember things (good or bad), we are actually reliving that moment as if in the now. Time is the only thing that separates us from it.

So, as you live your daily life, take some time to reflect and re-live only the good memories of the past. This practice not only boosts your motivation, but also uplifts your spirit, bringing positive energy into your present moment in the blink of an eye.

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read also: The Journey Inward Wholeness