Breaking Free of Negativity to Embrace Positivity
Cycles of Perpetuation
There seems to be a worrying issue that permeates our modern life. While it is true that we currently live in the best of times, a time that includes access to the entirety of human knowledge, access to food on an unprecedented scale, and entertainment and luxuries that our ancestors before us could never have imagined. But it all comes at a cost, a cost that includes a growing dissatisfaction with what we have, and an overall sense of gloominess coursing through a society that appears to have lost its way.
This negativity feeds into itself as a cycle, rolling and roiling like a wave that crashes on the shore of our own selves, and then recedes, only to strike back again even more powerfully than before. Why are things this way? After all, we’re no different than our ancestors for whom every bit of progress they achieved resulted in more happiness and fulfillment in their lives.
Despite the social ills that existed 70 years ago, people were still relatively HAPPIER than we are today. So what is the difference? Basically, the difference between then and now can be found in a changing culture: That is to say, the culture we now live in revels in negativity and breeds it within us. This negativity then goes on to fuel a cycle of self-perpetuation where the negativity we feel returns over and over again and drags us down with it.
The question now is, can we break free of it, and enter more into a self-perpetuating cycle of positivity instead? The answer is we can, but first, we need to identify the negativity we’re talking about and how it affects us.
Negative Cycles
Have you ever stopped to remind yourself, and think about every little “mistake” you’ve made, in the past voicing it out to your hearing? Ever done anything that you felt was “dumb”, and you just go on chastising yourself, calling yourself “idiot”, over and over again until you felt like a “loser”?
What about social interactions that didn’t exactly go the way that you felt it should have gone? And then you continue to dwell on every little thing that happened over the course of it, and then end up feeling horrible that you didn’t do, or say certain things you think should have done in a different way.
What about waking up in the morning, feeling depressed about the things you SHOULD have done, yet didn’t, and then continued to not do, telling yourself that you’re “not good enough” to accomplish them?
Ever pick up a hobby, find yourself “failing” at it, and then drop it because you don’t think you have the talent or drive to achieve what you wished to do?
All of these and more are cycles of negativity that we continually fall into, and they all have one thing in common with one another: believing in them leads to a cycle of self-defeat.
That’s what we mean when we talk about self-perpetuating cycles. If you continually feel negativity towards yourself, then not only do you feel bad because of it, but you continually expect yourself to fail and – like clockwork – you typically will. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that YOU allow to happen.
Now, keep in mind this one fact: It’s not your fault. Everyone gets down in the dumps every once in a while, and lose a bit of their optimism. It’s human nature to “fail” at something or have something not go your way, or just not FEEL secure in yourself and be a little sad. It’s a human emotion that we need to feel every once in a while to maintain balance in our lives.
It, however, becomes an issue when it’s more than an occasional, healthy release. And the negativity is something that many people feel they have to feel often, turning their optimism to cynicism to overcome and adapt to life’s challenges in modern times.
Yet as we’ve seen, felt, and are starting to realize, doing so continually wears down your defenses. Not only do you begin to feel bad, and continue to feed into that cycle, but you also start to welcome in the defeats that come to you. Now is there a way to break this cycle? Thankfully, there is!
The Change to Positivity
Ever just look at yourself, or do something that you enjoy and accomplished a goal and FEEL good about yourself? That’s a cycle of self-perpetuating positivity, and it’s something that all people should feel.
Negativity, as we’ve mentioned above, is a cycle that is designed to break you down and keep you complacent with defeats and failures. If you expect them, why aim to be better? Positive self-perpetuating cycles, on the other hand, are all about building yourself up, overcoming challenges, and setting goals for yourself while feeling good about it.
How do we change from negative to positive? Simple; we just change how we think and feel about ourselves.
It’s actually surprisingly simple. Every time we fail? We simply tell ourselves to do better next time. Every time something doesn’t go our way? We tell ourselves we can’t change how the world reacts to us, and we’ll work on that. Every time we accomplish a goal? We reward ourselves with a pat on the back. Looking at ourselves and commenting on how much we like ourselves does amazingly work for our psyche. Not only that, but the more we start to adapt and feel better about ourselves, the more we start to do it without even thinking about it first.
Essentially, if a negative self-perpetuating cycle leads us to believe in our own inadequacies and our failures, and leads to more failures, then positive self-perpetuating cycles have the opposite effect. Progressively the positive changes we see will lead to more triumphs, lead to more success, and lead to better self-esteem. And in the end, it does, after all, make us happier. Negativity breeds negativity. Positivity breeds positivity.
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